You're only young once... but you can always be immature.

Friday, December 05, 2008

Ranger Dave Barry on the World Famous Lawn Rangers

A member since 1991, humorist Dave Barry has written some very entertaining articles on the World Famous Lawn Rangers...

These maneuvers require great precision, and we rookies were forced to train in the grueling sun for nearly two full minutes before we could perform them to the Rangers' exacting standards.
Read the rest of Ranger Dave's 1st article on the World Famous Lawn Rangers here.

It's difficult, using mere words, to describe the scene as the Rangers, more than 50 strong, stride in two columns down the parade route, pushing our mowers in front of us, raising our brooms on high at the command "Brooms Up!"; meanwhile, bringing up the rear, glinting in the Midwestern sun, is: Elvis' giant concrete butt.
Read the rest of Ranger Dave's 2nd article on the World Famous Lawn Rangers here.

What we do is push lawn mowers and carry brooms. At various points along the parade route, we stop and astonish the crowd by performing broom-and-lawn-mower maneuvers with a level of smooth precision that you rarely see outside of train wrecks.
Read the rest of Ranger Dave's 3rd article on the World Famous Lawn Rangers here.

Naturally, we do this for a good cause, namely: To improve the morals of our nation's youth. Parents along the parade route can say to their children, "You better be moral, or you'll wind up like these men."
Read the rest of Ranger Dave's 4th article on the World Famous Lawn Rangers here.

The Lawn Rangers perform highly sophisticated semi-synchronized maneuvers with lawnmowers, brooms, and toilet plungers. Membership in this crack unit is a great honor, bestowed only on whoever shows up very few people.
The rest of Ranger Dave's recent blog post can be found here.

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