A Proctor man driving a motorized La-Z-Boy lounge chair hit a parked vehicle while under the influence of alcohol.


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There are 56 of us, jammed into a school bus with a seating capacity of 46 (there are many flatulence jokes). We join a line of other band buses in a Pentagon parking lot, creeping forward until we reach a security checkpoint, where we are screened by military personnel. One of the Rangers has the following exchange with a security screener:
SCREENER: What's this?
RANGER: It's a toilet plunger.
SCREENER (after a pause): OK.
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Whadaya think? |
President Barack Obama's inaugural parade included horses, a tumbling team, a mariachi band, the Azalea Trail Maids of Alabama -- whose members dress like Scarlett O'Hara -- and the Lawn Rangers, a lawn-mower drill team from Illinois.
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The World Famous Lawn Rangers from Amazing Arcola were also there.
From Obama's home state of Illinois, the group's members push mowers decorated with stuffed beavers, bowling balls, cowboy hats, lounge chairs.Whadaya think? |
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In all, 57 Lawn Rangers, including 48 marchers bearing mowers, two toilet plunger men and seven banner aides dressed like Abraham Lincoln, will march down Pennsylvania Avenue from the Capitol to the White House.
They'll be wearing bright red gowns donated by Arcola's Collegiate Cap and Gown, American flag suspenders made by Perry Suspenders of Decatur and black masks that look very much like the one the Lone Ranger used to don.
"If you'd march with this group, you'd want to wear a mask, too," said Tim Monahan of Arcola, another original member and Pat's brother.
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An elite unit of the World Famous Lawn Rangers broke new ground in La Grange Monday on a whistle stop before the upcoming inaugural parade.
"We're trying out a new move," said Ranger John O'Halloran of LaGrange Park during a dry run and fund-raiser at Palmer Place to finance the trip to Washington, D.C. for about 50 members and their lavishly decorated lawn mowers. "It's never been done before."
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